Am I a nosy mom?
jaklyn_23 asked:
I have a 13yr old son, he is into sports and and has lots of friends but no girlfriend( he told told me likes someone but it’s not serious). He has a myspace account and I am ok with that. I recently found out his password as I was putting away his laundry in his dresser drawer. I do not go through his stuff or snoop around because I trust him. My question is… should I check out his myspace? I did say I trust him but…. with all these predators and cyber bulling, I worry!!!! I don’t want him to think I was trying to be nosy. What do you think??
Okay folks I checked it out!!!! Only to see if his account was private and it is!!! I have no regrets looking at it because I did not see anything I did not approve of even though some of the girls on his site seem to be very mature for the age of 13(I know when I was 13 I didn’t look like I was 30!! Thanks everyone for your feedback!!! Oh…. and I will not look again, but I will ask him to let me see it everyonce and awhie. I will let you know how that goes!!! Thanks again!!!
Maya
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I have a 13yr old son, he is into sports and and has lots of friends but no girlfriend( he told told me likes someone but it’s not serious). He has a myspace account and I am ok with that. I recently found out his password as I was putting away his laundry in his dresser drawer. I do not go through his stuff or snoop around because I trust him. My question is… should I check out his myspace? I did say I trust him but…. with all these predators and cyber bulling, I worry!!!! I don’t want him to think I was trying to be nosy. What do you think??
Okay folks I checked it out!!!! Only to see if his account was private and it is!!! I have no regrets looking at it because I did not see anything I did not approve of even though some of the girls on his site seem to be very mature for the age of 13(I know when I was 13 I didn’t look like I was 30!! Thanks everyone for your feedback!!! Oh…. and I will not look again, but I will ask him to let me see it everyonce and awhie. I will let you know how that goes!!! Thanks again!!!
Maya
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:43 am
Isabelle
Well u should tell him 2 put his page private just in case.
December 25th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Joshua
Yea i would definitely check it out. Just don’t let him know that you did it obviously. Do it at another computer or at work.
December 28th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Gracie
That would be crossing the line, if you trust him you have no reason to go through it, it’s like a journal for him you can check out his actual page but don’t log into his myspace and read through his inbox.
Speak to him and make sure his page is friends only, educate him about predators etc. and not giving out his personal info like, real name to strangers,adress, phone number etc.
December 28th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Andrea
as a parent with kids the same age. I would check
December 29th, 2009 at 12:27 am
Eric
making sure your son is safe isn’t being nosy.
even if you do trust him i think its ok to look if you want to.
hope this helps you!
December 30th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Isaiah
Jaclyn, HE’s only 13
I would have already been monitoring his account,
don’t be surprised or disappointed,
Let us know what you find OK
Good luck
M
January 2nd, 2010 at 1:13 am
Jasmine
This is a tough spot, but like you say there are many predators out there. I would look, I know it sounds wrong. You are a mother, it’s your job to be concerned.
January 4th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Nevaeh
i would check… just don’t tell him… you are the mother… you have the right to check up on your son. He is 13…. 13 year olds do some crazy stuff…. at 13 they really haven’t gained all your trust yet… so do what you gotta do!!!
January 4th, 2010 at 11:13 pm
Emily
dont go behind his back to do it. ask him to show you his page.
January 7th, 2010 at 4:34 am
Ethan
Don’t do it! He will feel so unbelievably betrayed… did your mother ever read your diary? it’s the same thing!
January 7th, 2010 at 7:39 am
Mollie
Ask him if you can watch him go on for a few minutes, just to check it out. By going on his myspace, it can damage his trust in you and not tell you things that are really important. If he says no, tell him you are trusting him to be making good decisions. It could really give him the guilt trip if he isn’t. You could also make a myspace to look at his page every once and a while.
January 9th, 2010 at 8:01 pm
Mary
I have a 13 year old brother, my mom would NEVER log into his myspace account, and she would never do anything like that to me either. It’s all about trust and respecting other people’s things.
Oh and FYI, he will know if you log in, b/c on the page, it says the last time you or him logged in and at what time
An idea though, why not make your own myspace page and be on his friends list. That way you have access to his page and read whatever is there.
January 10th, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Angel
im 15…no myspace tho. my mom is always on my back, although it bugs the hell outta me i know shes just looking out for me and i really appreciate it. i would just ask to see it with him there, that way ur not snoopin without him knowing.
January 12th, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Makayla
Not nosy- protective, maybe you should create a myspace and be on his friends list, that would give you access to his bulletins. Not cool to snoop but good parenting to know what is going on. I would probably snoop myself, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you confront on what you find. Cause they will hide EVERYTHING from you. Predators have fake ages and stuff on their pages, so you wont really learn a lot anyhow.
January 16th, 2010 at 1:26 am
William
Do NOT go to his myspace account. If you two have a strong enough relationship, he will tell you if anything is going on. You should trust your son.
January 19th, 2010 at 1:37 am
Robert
being nosey and being a good parent and knowing what your child is doing are two different things. Yes, you could trust him, but thats not to say hes not doing something wrong or someones doing him wrong. I personally would rather know what my child is doing. I would much rather my kids dislike me than see them get hurt by something I could have prevented by checking in on things he/she has been doing.
good luck!
January 22nd, 2010 at 2:55 am
Eric
If he found out that you were snooping on his Myspace he would be more inclined to think you were being nosey, rather than protective. I personally do not think a 13 year old needs a Myspace but there are things you can do to limit the people seeing his Myspace.
1) Have him make his Myspace private, so that only his friends can see it.
2) If someone is requesting to be his friend, make it to where they must know his e-mail address or last name.
3) If his profile is set to public, make sure he has not noted where he is from.
January 24th, 2010 at 4:03 am
Ian
What kind of mom are you? He has given you no reason to snoop…through his myspace. Therefore you should forget about checking his account.
January 24th, 2010 at 5:11 am
Tristan
I would say since it is public domain anyway go for it….in this day and age a nosey mom is a good mom.
January 24th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Zoe
Well you don’t have to let him know that you did. I think it’s good to be concerned. The predators lurk closer to home than most realize.
I had a friend who everyone thought was a decent guy. He added me as a friend on myspace and I saw that a lot of his friends were underage girls and boys. Finally one of the girls confided in me what had happened between her and him. She saw I was a good friend of his and decided she could trust me. Lets just say, he’s in jail now. But he did use myspace to work his way into the lives of young teens. There were a lot of parents who found state police knocking on their doors wanting to ask a few questions. I honestly think that whether you decide to just snoop or if you tell him you’d prefer to monitor his activity on myspace, that you do check and see who he’s talking to, etc.
January 25th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Noah
better safe than sorry. i would check it just to make sure he is on the right track..
January 27th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Aubrey
What will you do if you find something that disturbs you? Then you will have to tell him you were snooping and all that talk of trust was just talk.
Maybe you should just ask him to show it to you. Ask him how myspace works, or ask him what his myspace page looks like.
January 30th, 2010 at 6:23 am
Rachel
uhh if you werent trying to be nosy then what WERE you trying to be
madam I suggest you get off his back and trust him and the way you’ve raised him. anyway theres nothing so special that you can find on myspace and he seems to be pretty sincere about everything he says to you
January 30th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Isaiah
I would check it out, just to make sure everythings fine. I don’t think that’s being nosy, just protective.
January 31st, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Aaron
unless you can handle the truth for whatever reasons you may find out later, you shouldn’t check it..
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:48 pm
Riley
Not unless you are ready to see the other side of him! the when mom’s not looking side. Everybody has one. It’s probably some really personal stuff and if you find something that you want to say something about…what are you going to do?
I think you are going to check it anyway, I would LOL but I would tell him to change his password after I check it once.
February 6th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Madeline
Is he one to lie? If he was I would check but if he’s honest leave him be, yes, you want to make sure he’s ok but as long as he is careful and takes precautions like making his myspace private I’d let him go on it alone.
February 7th, 2010 at 7:30 am
Maya
You should have access to everything he does since he’s a minor. What would happen if he were to decide to meet up with some pervert? Serial killer? My advice is you all get a family account, or he let’s you on his account at any time. If he gets another account without you knowing, that’s the end of the internet priveleges for him.
February 9th, 2010 at 7:03 am
Samuel
Have him add you as a friend for sure. He shouldn’t be posting anything that he needs to keep private, and knowing that you can check out his page anytime you like will help him to use good judgement as he does. If ever you have concerns, be open and honest at all costs …. then he’ll learn he can be open and honest with you.
February 9th, 2010 at 8:32 am
Christopher
13 is too young to have a myspace.
he must have lied about his age to get one.
i wonder what else he lied about.
ask him what he does on myspace, how many friends he has [[cuz if he comes up with a HUGE number, then he might be 'chatting']] and if he adds strangers, if his profile is private, etc;
tell him that you want him to be safe online =]
February 9th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
Logan
I think once you look at it once you wont be able to stop looking at it. I think you should leave it.
February 10th, 2010 at 7:31 am
Steven
umm no thats wrong ask him if he can show u ut dont go on there secretly
February 13th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Alexandra
No.
dont go to his personal site, and snoop. if you really trust him, ask him to show you his site. If he wont, then maybe you can look for yourself, but ask him 1st and if he shows you then he obviously has nothing to hide.
I used to show my mom my myspace once a week, so she wouldnt worry about what i was doing. Dont tell him you have the password, just kinda casually ask him if you can see what his site looks like.
good luck
~d
February 15th, 2010 at 9:40 am
Alyssa
I understand you wanting to do this, but I wouldn’t do it if I were you. If you find something that you don’t like he will end up finding out what you did. Then he won’t trust that you do give him some privacy. I guess if you were really worried about his well being that would be different. Meaning thinking he was up to something bad. I just think to find out who he likes isn’t really a good reason.
February 17th, 2010 at 2:31 am
Daniel
Yes check it out. If it’s on the internet, then there is no privacy because the whole world has access to see it. Check out his friends’ pages he has on their too.
You should know who else is influencing your son.
February 18th, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Gabriella
I would definently check it out. But I would tell him before. Just tell him that you want to make sure that he’s not viewing anything he shouldn’t be. It sounds like you your son have an open relationship. That’s really good!
Savannah
Ps- I’m 13 too!
February 21st, 2010 at 4:10 am
Julian
you shouldnt look he might have personal stuff on there and if he does it will be private myspace
dont be nosy and let your son confide in you when he wants to he will be much happier that way you dont have to know evry thing in your sons life
plus you might not like what u see on his myspace my mum was shocked when she heard what me and my friends talk about and do in our own time
conclusion – dont look let him have his privacy and he will tell you if some thing is bothering him or he wants some advice
i always get embarassed if my mum asks me personal stuff like do u have a girlfriend and whos that girl you are talkin to and stuff so leave him be
also make him change his password so you cant access his files and he can have some degree of privacy i did that when my parents started checking my myspace and hotmail account
February 23rd, 2010 at 11:24 am
Jonathan
i would just to be safe. you are his mom, you gave birth to him, you paid for the computer he is now using for myspace,. go on. you have every right
February 26th, 2010 at 7:33 am
Emma
Definitely check it out. There are LOTS of predators and whatnot on the net that cruise myspace. You need to know what he is putting on there. He may have personal info (like his school, his hometown, etc. and pictures) that will help predators target him.
February 26th, 2010 at 10:53 pm
Alexis
OMG EW WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
that is SO creepy ewwwwww
if my mom did that i would have a fit … seriously ew