Mom’s how do you handle people who don’t watch their kids when they’re at a play center (or playground etc) ?
PROUD FORMULA FEEDER asked:
I just joined a drop in center for moms and babies yesterday and while I was there with my 11 month old daughter, 2 women came in with 2 toddlers (probably about 2-3 years old). It was their first time there too and the lady in charge said it was a place for you to INTERACT with your child and play and have fun. Well they sat down and proceeded to chat with each other and let their toddlers go off and play without supervising them at all. It’s a big place yet one of these toddlers insisted on trying to take everything my daughter tried to play with. I didn’t let the boy take her toys so I had to tell the little boy to leave my daughter alone and to play with one of the many toys around. At first it worked but 5 minutes later here’s this kid trying to bully my baby and take what she was playing with. I intervened each time and told the boy no. The mother just kept chatting to her friend. This happened THREE times and yet the mother, oblivious to anything going on, did not say anything to her child. I was ready to choke her! What would you have done in this situation?
I told the kid myself. the mother knew what was going on but was too busy gossiping to intervene. I have never been in that situation so I wasn’t sure what I should do. She seemed to be purposely ignoring it. It was obvious the kid was a spoiled brat with no discipline at all from his lazy mother.
Um, it’s a FREE group. And usually my daughter loves to play and interact with other babies. Playing at home is okay too but she has a lot of fun going to this place and wherever else three’s kids. I also take her to swimming classes. It’s nice to have a life outside the house.
TTC#1, your outlook is sad. Your going to have one under-stimulated, bored baby if you just plan on sitting at home because she won’t remember 11 moths anyways. That is so not the point. Wait until you take your child to the park and put her on a swing and see the look of sheer joy come over her face. that won’t happen sitting at home lying on the couch and letting your baby play by himself all the time. i think you need to re adjust your thinking on why you want a baby. It doesn’t sound like your really into being a mommy. I feel bad for your baby.
Eric
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I just joined a drop in center for moms and babies yesterday and while I was there with my 11 month old daughter, 2 women came in with 2 toddlers (probably about 2-3 years old). It was their first time there too and the lady in charge said it was a place for you to INTERACT with your child and play and have fun. Well they sat down and proceeded to chat with each other and let their toddlers go off and play without supervising them at all. It’s a big place yet one of these toddlers insisted on trying to take everything my daughter tried to play with. I didn’t let the boy take her toys so I had to tell the little boy to leave my daughter alone and to play with one of the many toys around. At first it worked but 5 minutes later here’s this kid trying to bully my baby and take what she was playing with. I intervened each time and told the boy no. The mother just kept chatting to her friend. This happened THREE times and yet the mother, oblivious to anything going on, did not say anything to her child. I was ready to choke her! What would you have done in this situation?
I told the kid myself. the mother knew what was going on but was too busy gossiping to intervene. I have never been in that situation so I wasn’t sure what I should do. She seemed to be purposely ignoring it. It was obvious the kid was a spoiled brat with no discipline at all from his lazy mother.
Um, it’s a FREE group. And usually my daughter loves to play and interact with other babies. Playing at home is okay too but she has a lot of fun going to this place and wherever else three’s kids. I also take her to swimming classes. It’s nice to have a life outside the house.
TTC#1, your outlook is sad. Your going to have one under-stimulated, bored baby if you just plan on sitting at home because she won’t remember 11 moths anyways. That is so not the point. Wait until you take your child to the park and put her on a swing and see the look of sheer joy come over her face. that won’t happen sitting at home lying on the couch and letting your baby play by himself all the time. i think you need to re adjust your thinking on why you want a baby. It doesn’t sound like your really into being a mommy. I feel bad for your baby.
Eric
March 11th, 2010 at 9:58 am
Evelyn
I would have told the mother to take control of her son
March 12th, 2010 at 11:46 pm
Caleb
If it was bothering you that much, why didn’t you say something to her? Excuse me ma’am, but your little boy keeps taking my daughter’s toys. Not that difficult.
I don’t really understand why you can’t play with her at home (especially when you’re paying for a service you’re not satisfied with). She’s not going to remember the things she did as an 11 month old.
March 15th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Allison
I feel you I hate mothers and fathers who do that. My husband and I love taking our children to this one park and it is great we take our dogs and our 3 kids and my oldest is 13 so she rides her skate board in the proper area and my 4 and 15 month old play with myself or my husband and the other is at the dog park less than a block away. But lately some parents have been sitting on the side line and watching their kids hit other kids take toys it is crazy. One kid hit my son and I went to the mother and told her that I would really like her to watch her child because we are not here for our son to fight with other kids. She grabbed her son and rolled her eyes at me. I love to talk with other parents but I am a mother and I have to chase my babies before I gossip.
March 17th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
Mason
The person above me who said she doesnt know why we dont just play at home is clearly a moron and doesnt have children. Kids need a change of scenery and fresh air and to interact with other children. You should have said something to the other mother. Excuse me, but your son is bothering my daughter and as I am not his parent, I think you should take care of him and handle the situation
March 20th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Alexandra
If a mother is ignoring her child, and that child is bullying, harassing, or generally being mean to your child, you definitely have a right to say something.
I would be very careful with my words, as it’s easy to offend a mommy if she thinks you are criticizing her parenting! I would just take the child’s hand, lead him over to the mother, and explain the situation to her. Say Hi there, I’m just here playing with my daughter, and your son seems to really want the toy she is playing with. I’ve asked him a few times to please find a different one, and to be gentle with her, but he is having trouble doing that. Perhaps you could help him find something else to do?.
Hold your ground. I always try to be as sweet as possible at first, but if she refuses to help, be more assertive. That way, you can always say you tried to be nice.
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:43 am
Zachary
I would have done what you did at first with correcting the toddler. Then I would of said something to the mother. I would of TRIED to do it in a non conflict style. I am sorry to bother you mamm, but your son just will not stop brothering and bullying my child. Could you please resolve this with him. Then if it kept occurring I would go to the program director and let them handle it. I would let the center know what steps I took and I would also mention to them how it really puts a damper on your play time. And tell them if they allow this behavior, then really you should not waste your money and you could go to the park. If the center does not correct it I would look for another center.
March 25th, 2010 at 3:38 am
Caden
My answer to a similar question might help you too. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve copied it out here (and adapted) for you. x
I run a parent and toddler group and we make it clear when people join that all the parents/carers do, and are expected to, look out for other people’s children as well as their own. If a child is hurt and the parent doesn’t notice quickly, someone else always scoops the child up and brings it to the parent, or gets the parent to come over asap. If one child hurts or is rude to or upsets another, we expect the parent to act. We would probably let it pass the first time, but make a fuss of the hurt child, probably in a loud way that makes sure the parent would notice. Then, personally, I would go further and say something like, ‘David didn’t mean to hurt you, let’s go and see him and he can say sorry to you’. I would then take the hurt child over to the other one and talk through what had happened, saying directly to the other child that you don’t hit (or whatever), because it hurts etc, and invite an apology. I would exchange rueful grins with the other parent and hope to get them on my side and make it seem like teamwork. If I was hitting a brick wall and it happened again and again I would ask the parent to keep an eye on their child because they are upsetting the other! And if it happened again I would have to politely suggest that the child might be tired or overstimulated etc and perhaps playtime is over for the day. Or if they were to scary (!) I would make a big point of removing my own, hurt, child from the situation. I’d be really annoyed though to have to do that!
Above all, voice things. In an ideal world, if speaking to the child(ren) doesn’t work, then I would have gone over and spoken to the parents. They probably needed it to be pointed out, and might have been mortified by you doing so. But they may also have been rude, in which case you still came out tops even if they are lazy parents and left you angry. You can still try to set a good example gently! You could speak to the owners of the place also I suppose. hth x
March 25th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
Katherine
Ask him his name, or notice if the mom uses it. Then introduce yourself, and say your babies name. Now that you have his name, you can use it to say ‘oops Johnny, I see Millie’s playing with that’ So you’re not blaming him, just sticking up for your daughter. Now by saying his name, you’d hope mom would hear it. So say it loud enough. She may just otherwise zone it out, but key in, when you say his name.
Now for the parents I see on the cellphone, that may be harder.