Valuable Ways You Can Help Your Child Succeed in School
You can help your child obtain a quality education regardless of his or her ability or the conditions of his/her life and yours. Here are some words of wisdom for both regular and special education parents, some of which you might have heard before, but most of these deserve repeating. Although this article emphasizes the needs of special child who is often misunderstood, the suggestions apply to all children so that they can receive the best education.
1. Check your teacher’s credentials. There are websites where you can actually go and look up a teachers record of experience and education. You can also politely and directly ask the teacher to give you specifics regarding teacher preparation, values and educational orientation and beliefs. Also recognize that inexperienced teachers are under incredible stress. Patience and understanding become particularly critical when this occurs, but recognize that the inexperienced, alternatively prepared individual may just turn out to be the best educator you could find. Encouragement and involvement will do a lot to support both teacher and your child.
2. If you move to a different school district and your child has an IEP or 504 plan, that is a large or slight disability, get a signed copy of the records before you leave. There were stories about special needs children who were misplaced following Hurricane Katrina, so it’s a good idea to have the right paper work done and available.
3. If you suspect your child has a disability, have a conference with the teacher in the first month of school. He or she is supposed to observe the student, try some basic accommodations and, if those don’t work, a referral can be made within 30 days. It is important that a child be evaluated before October 1st so that the school can get the extra money for children with disabilities if qualified.
4. Don’t let educational politics dictate your child’s education. Some folks in education constantly complain, for example, that there are too many African American boys in special education. Many of these boys probably just need another teacher with a high tolerance for physical activity, but others have disabilities that do not show up until they are expected to learn to read. Your child needs an education tailored to his or her needs. There is too much fitting the child to the program instead of the program to the child these days. While parents may protest special education assignment, particularly when social disadvantage is the particular problem, some children do need intensive and specialized instruction and benefit from it.
5. If your child is a fidgeter, visit a doctor to see if medication is in order. If the child does not need the medicine, there will be no improvement if he or she takes it. If the child does, you will notice less fidgeting and better concentration in a few days. ADD and ADHD are real disabilities that sometimes need to be treated with real medicine. This is another area wherein politicians whine about “medicating” children. But if your child had diabetes you would not deny her insulin, would you? There are numerous contradictions and unanswered questions in this area, but don’t rush to judgment.
6. If your child has a hidden problem such as pants wetting or an allergy, be sure, the school knows. You need orders from a physician for a school to make proper accommodations. The school nurse will develop a nursing plan for children with physical disabilities involving health considerations, and these will involve parent and teacher involvement so that there is a plan in place in the event of an emergency. Plans between teacher and parent have to be made in order to prevent mishaps and misunderstandings. Some of these plans may involve the school health officials and some may just involve an informal, but important, understanding that comes from interaction of teachers and parents. Appropriate accommodations, however, need to be made in the event a child has special needs.
7. If the school says the child needs help, be cooperative but learn your rights. Listen and have input. Make sure you know and understand what is going on. Ask all the questions you need to even if you spend all day with the special education or curriculum coordinator. This is part of the job of the specialist, to listen to parent concerns. Special education is a second chance for success. It is not punishment unless someone makes it so.
Now here are some tips that apply to all students.
1. Try to collect the supplies your child needs so he has them on the first day. Civic and community groups often help with this.
2. Don’t put a Pre-K or Kindergarten child in clothing with fasteners. Elastic waists are best. A small child who needs to use the bathroom has to go then! Little girls can be saved by wearing jumpers or dresses. If a child is just turning 4 when he starts Pre-K you might have to fine tune toilet training. If he still has accidents, quietly take an extra set of clothing that stays at school. Accidents in small children are the result of physical immaturity, not behavior problems. Teachers who chastise children for accidents or who won’t let them use the bathroom should be reported.
3. Provide your child with home training so that he knows how to speak respectfully to adults, wait his turn and not constantly demand attention. Don’t condone fighting. A good school will also teach conflict resolution skills. Bullying is a crime.
4. Listen to your child’s concerns. If a child tells you about something ugly the teacher does several times, it’s time for a conference. Most teachers are quality, caring professionals, but a few are incompetent, mean or mentally ill. Do not go behind the teacher’s back to the principal or school board without having conferencing with the teacher first. .
5. Make sure your child has a quiet, comfortable place to do homework and that he has time to play and is not hungry. If you live with relatives, in some small or cramped condition, go to the public library, a park or other well-lighted public place. By providing a pleasant place to do homework you are telling your child that school is important.
6. If you can afford it, get a computer and Internet access. Put it where you can see what the child is doing and don’t let the child play video games until homework is done. These days many teachers have school websites which the parents can use to keep up with school events. If you can’t afford one, there are computers available at libraries. Librarians can help both you and your child in opening up the wonderful world that the use of computers can bring to the learning experience.
7. Read to your child every day at least through elementary school. Bedtime stories are a parent – child interaction that remains a valuable tradition that brings parent and child together, reinforce language skills and that continues to endure as a special time for everyone involved.
8. Give your child community experiences. Go to parades, festivals and the library. You don’t have to spend money to be involved with your child in ways that prepare him or her for education and for life. A child who has been outside of the local community, who has experienced seeing many places and doing many things, has experiences to write and talk about with others. Don’t always do the grocery shopping while your child is at school. The neighborhood store can be a place to learn. For example,let the child have the experience of handling the money or putting the EBT card in the machine. Participate in faith -based programs. Church attendance and involvement can provide children with positive experiences and the development of good social skills and values.
To summarize, all of these suggestions help reinforce that you respect the child. By doing many of these things you are teaching the child to respect others. While you’re working with the child, you will make mistakes. Don’t be afraid to admit them and apologize. Be an example to the child as you want the child to be, and he or she will then be more likely to adopt sound moral values. School is a partnership with parents to develop functional adults. It needs the input of both teacher and parent for the child to succeed in school.
ELDEN